Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
