we made out on top of his cat.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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