Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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