whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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