woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
