I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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