I accidentally had phone sex last night
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
