I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
