Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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