8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
