We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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