that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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