I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
