normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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