arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
