I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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