My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
