i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
