Too much gin, very little bucket
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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