So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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