Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
