you guys were way drunker than both of me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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