either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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