New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
