just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
