I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize