can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
