How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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