I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize