just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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