The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
