I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I could make wine with my vomit
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
