a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He did a backflip because drugs
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