you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear