I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
