very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now