can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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