Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
