she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
