he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
