i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This baby is an asshole
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
