At least make sure they are 18
Why
Me too!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
