My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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