Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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