she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
