he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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