White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am naked and annoyed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
