pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
