about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
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"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked