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• (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.

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• (951): View more from California

  ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP

  (1-951): View more from California

  Have fun and good luck.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer

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