Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.

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  (203): That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song. http://tfl.nu/uhw8
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (2053)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  accomplished twins. life is a go

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  (651): accomplished twins. life is a go http://tfl.nu/t3ng
  Replies (4) Good night (3953) Bad night (439)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (6247)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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  (330): just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months. http://tfl.nu/uiec
  Replies (28) Good night (897) Bad night (5221)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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  (904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk
  Replies (15) Good night (3507) Bad night (1291)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.

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  (954): I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day. http://tfl.nu/gtxx
  Replies (13) Good night (5179) Bad night (917)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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  (508): i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now http://tfl.nu/g57m
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (1411)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

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  (604): There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop. http://tfl.nu/phgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2591) Bad night (1059)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.

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  (203): I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup. http://tfl.nu/cqod
  Replies (5) Good night (2337) Bad night (585)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow

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  (206): I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow http://tfl.nu/8ygv
  Replies (27) Good night (2384) Bad night (943)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

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  (816): Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays. http://tfl.nu/c3h2
  Replies (11) Good night (3017) Bad night (606)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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  (602): Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it http://tfl.nu/5hme
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.

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  (224): Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time. http://tfl.nu/eicx
  Replies (6) Good night (1023) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo

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  (610): As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo http://tfl.nu/nylc
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (153)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing

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  (518): I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing http://tfl.nu/06p1
  Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (104)

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