YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.