the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
