And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
