we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize