Little spoons don't ask big questions
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
