I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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