How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
