why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This baby is an asshole
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
