I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
