Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize