If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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