i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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