Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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