ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dating After Heartbreak
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.