Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.