We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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