Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question