Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
