FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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