D3 body, D1 cock
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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